With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
