I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize