Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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