I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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