You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
