I want to have your abortion
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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