Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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