you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
