i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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