im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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