i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
