Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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