I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize