that's an acceptable place to lick
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
