Screwed.edu
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
