3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
