so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
