I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
