Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
