He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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