i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also, beer. Big fan.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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