i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
