sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize