am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
