is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My liver just broke up with me...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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