Yo dont text me then not text me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
