And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
