Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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