You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
