if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
