Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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