is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
