What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
