yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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