Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize