At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
