can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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