just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
