They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
