Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
