Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
