We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
