you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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