a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
