Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so much tequila, so little girl.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
