i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
