Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
