i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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