Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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