i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
