My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
