I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it was like eating out sand paper
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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