playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize