I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
