And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
