My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
