windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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