clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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