Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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