all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize