But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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