fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The air taste purple.
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