That's intense
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
