found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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