i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
