I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
