just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
