Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
