I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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